Thurs. nite

Suz reports that dad is out of isolation now. So visitors don't have to wear the glamorous yellow gown and accessories.

 Dad has regressed to muttering and  reaching for invisible objects. Not one of his good days.

Except for the part about getting rid of his bug. The gear has been a real barrier to getting close to him. 

Thurs afternoon

Spoke to Suz around 1 pm. Dad's INI around 1.6. Will not even be attempted til at least Monday.

She says mom is distraught now, coming to the realization that dad is declining. She reiterates that she doesn't want to be alone. 

Thurs. noon

Hang on. Here's the link to a little photo album with an assortment of pictures of dad:

 

Photo album of Dad pictures

 

Thurs. am

Two more of my favourite pictures of dad -- one of him with Holly (1994) and of him as a young fella.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wedns night

Spoke to Suz and mom late this evening via speaker phone on mom's new Lifeline unit. They say dad looks worse. They only stayed fo 30 mins, and at their suggestion he agreed a short visit was good. Mom emotional tonight about not wanting to be alone when she gets bad news. Planning to go up Sat/sun to see dad. 

 Dad with Ben, January & July 06

 

 

Wedns afternoon

2:30 pm.

Suz said dad looked way yellower than she remembered when she last saw him on Friday.

He's in a holding pattern, sleeping, fades in and out of conversation.

Still in isolation.

No biopsy, ini still at 1.7.

Mom okay after nite alone. Busy day for her with physio consult at hosp, physio in home, as well as housekeeping and homecare. 

 

Tues night/Wedns morning

Wedns. am

 Good to wake up in my own bed with a little fluffy blond, 1 yr old  head next to me.

 We say bye to Holly, drive Neil to school with his trombone and tent for his xc run today. Bite of breakfast with Zana, and byes. We'll see her again in 2 hours after she has her pizza nubbin at school and zooms home for a real lunch.

Guides tonite, then run Hums to Pop's fave store, Walmart, to replace contents of lost pencil case. then put some worries to rest by going over study strategies for geo test, and looking over carefully-wrought text for fr. oral project.

Made long overdue call to math dept to find out what's going on in Neil's math class.

The little man is back in bed. He gets so tired mid morning, but seems to be able to trudge thru the rest of the day on no nap. You know you've been away a while when both of you just enjoy a good long cuddle, lasting long after those peepers have closed (his this time).

No word on dad so far today (11 am).

Suz coming to the rescue today to take mom to sudden physio appointment, and be there for whenever they may have to sign for the biopsy.

 

 

Tues. night.

 We visit dad earlier than some other days, arriving approx. 4:20. He looks remarkably good. His eyes are so much less bloodshot and gunky. Nurse Teresa tells the eyedrops she put in have helped a lot. Wonder why it took a week to  try eyedrops. His condition is pretty much the same today, she says, no better, no worse.

He drops in and out of sleep. Is more of a participant in conversation, like a few days ago. Sugars are good, so no dextrose drip, just saline. 

We are there when dinner is rolled in -- turkey and mashed potatoes. Dad sniffs at this, but does eat most of this pink cakey dessert that  Teresa gives him.

He says he's had a few visitors -- can't articulate exactly who. Wants to know who's running for mayor. Surprising number of candidates seem to be my age.

We leave around 6 pm and go out for dinner. We have had to think carefully about which eateries are or are not wheelchair accessible. We opt for Tony's nearby. The sidewalk is cut away, and a guys helps us with the doors. So Tony passes the  accessibility test.

On leaving, i have real trouble lifting the wheelchair into the car. Phyllis, mom's favourite home care worker, made lifting it look so easy.  It must take me 5 minutes to wrestle it in there. I have even more greater respect and admiration now for Phyllis. 

Lift off around 8 pm. Mom's first night by herself. I survive picking up a coffee at the drive thru Horton's by the high school on the way out of town. I am sorry but that has got to be the most treacherous, incomprehensible drivethru driveway i have ever encountered.

Stumble in the door around 10 pm. Another day down. All we can do is take things a day at a time. 

 

Monday evening/Tues morning

 Tuesday morning.

 8:45 am call from nurse Teresa saying dad's ini count is still too high for biopsy, so it won't happen today. they will keep him on vit k so that hopefully he will be able to go tomorrow. She said he had a restful night.

 Doc. T said yest he was going to talk to renal point doc Schiff in Robinnette's office about if dad should be moved to TO for oral biospy (which T. says; he's never heard of for liver). And if liver transplant is even a remote possibility. Must follow up with T about that. Even if the answer is no, I will feel I'm doing right by dad getting an accurate answer from someone who has knowledge in the field.

Have placed calls to james and suz. Someone will have to be here to take mom to hosp to sign authorization form to go ahead with biopsy for dad, if it goes ahead. 

Looking forward to getting home to Stan and the kids tonite. For now, time to get back to the house.... 

 

Monday night.

Dad resting more peacefully tonight.  No communication with alternate universe. Allowed himself to relax into a deeper sleep. We left some pictures of the kids with him. He recognized the baby and then the big kids with prompting.
 

Monday evening 

 

This aft after I left the wireless hotspot at Starbucks at 1st and Pine to get into the car, i could see the Watts Boats building.  The top east corner of the roof is crumbling.

 Maybe something about seeing that building made me feel like taking a drive to one of my favourite tihinking spots, the  road behind the old drydocks.

It used to be a scrubby wasteland. For several years now, there has been a nice walking path there. Too bad -- i'm in the mood for scrub right now.

I don't remember in the past seeing the cairn that marks where the nwmp got off the train and boarded a steamship to go out and quell the Riel rebellion.

I thought of that emblem again in one of the stained glass windows, the Moses window on the northwest wall of fp, dedicated to the town's pioneers. It has a masted ship at the top, and a train second from the top on this coat of arms.

You forget that c-wood had a railway legacy as well.

That's kind of like dad. From the bench where I sat, you could see a bulldozer and dumptruck pushing fill around on the old shipyard lands. The first stages of the residential building project that's going up there.

If you look into the town, past the 4 plex theatre, you can see the senior's centre that dad designed when he had his own business after the shipyard closed. I remember we had a very sad party there when dad lost the mayoralty race, after 2 successful stints as a town councillor.

I see election signs for 2 'family' members around town. wendy mckenzie, former wife of one of dad's so-called brothers who has the lien on my parents' house. funny - thought you would have to be able to read to be a councillor. or a least have a vocabulary beyond 4 letter words. long live democracy. if you want to vote for family, vote for irene. she's got the right stuff.

Then I took a little spin behind the grain terminal elevators. Dad and I had a couple of Tim Horton's car picnics in the new park space back there over the past few years. It's all very nice and cosmetically pleasing. usable public space. Not so long ago it was a cold windswept quiet place.

On my way back out, the door for the Watts boats project out there caught my eye.

Dad took me and the kids thru there a few years ago when i brought the kids home for a 'collingwood roots' study project. i also took them to the old mckenzie farm in osprey township. stewart was on the tractor mower. it was the week bud and wilda sold the farm. they won't remember any of this. i'm still glad i took them. 

 One thing i filed away from our visit to the watts shop was that someday i wanted to take mom and dad and the kids on a trip on the skiff. at the time i noticed it was about $80.

It's probably one of those silly things that only matters to the person who has the unfulfilled wish, not so much to the person who doesn't receive it.

If that old man makes it out of hospital this time, i'm taking him out on that boat, and that's a promise.

Monday, noon.
Dad not good. Even more yellow. More confusion. Still in isolation. Hard to play guitar for dad with rubber gloves on.

Biopsy did not go ahead. His INI/blood clotting thingy count is too high (1.7, should be 1.0). Nurses will give vitamin k over next 2 days to lower this and see if they can go ahead with it tomorrow or next day.

Doc. T and nurse Teresa (friend of mom) want the family to consider a do not resuscitate order.

James has ‘gone for a drive’ and not yet returned. Just talked to Suz at lunch. We all want to stay the course a few more days without DNR order. It would upset dad if he knew one were in place.

Did mom’s banking with her. Impossible. I had to load the wheelchair in and out of the car twice to get her around to her two banks. It’s a bugger to lift and shove in. At least mom understands this is not an easy piece of business that just any family member can step in and help her with.

We made it back just in time for Meals on Wheels. Mushrooom fettucine, some kind of cream soup, green beans, toast, jelly cookie, other stuff. Plenty for a person in a wheelchair who picks at her food.

One of her old docs, Doc Paul, made the delivery. She muttered that it’s too bad he had to see the house looking such a mess.

I was on the phone to Suz, when I noticed mom stabbing at a green garbage bag with a steak knife. Then she tried to stuff the dirty and half full MOW dishes inside, completely missing, leaving a gross mess for me to clean up on the floor.

She has gone to bed. This is the earliest I’ve seen her rise since I got here.

She is tearing up. She is saying out loud she doesn’t want to be alone on Wednsdy and Thursday if she gets bad news. She doesn’t want to go up to the hosp and potentially have to deal with bad news alone.

Will leave the commode for Phyllis. Sorry Phyllis.

We all feel another edge has been shaved off the crystal of hope we’ve been clinging to.

Sunday night
Tonight things aren’t so good. Dad has been moved to a private room after testing positive for an antibiotic-resistant bug.

After we suited up in our bilious yellow gowns, masks and gloves, we went in to see him. He was zoning in and out, talking to invisible people, reaching for invisible objects, and didn’t seem to know who was there. Had no memory for who had been around in recent days. He had definitely been more with it during my past visits.

I found it pretty disheartening. Mom said she remembers a phase like this from the time following the transplant. But he was younger then and didn’t have the bug.

Biopsy is still on track for tomorrow, we are told.